In the land of the midgets...

The other day I was wondering who would be the king in the land of the midgets? Is it the shortest or the tallest midget? And what is the cutoff point for being a midget? There has to be a height and/or weight requirement. I mean, there has to be borderline migets right? And what do you call those who don't make the cut? Do the midgets look up to the tallest one? Or is it the shortest one? Maybe they ridicule the tallest one. Like he's not midget enough. He's an outcast in midgetland. "Go live with the real people you mother f***er." I think this type of thinking has to go on. What a strange but intriguing group of people. All I know is I want to make a t-shirt line devoted to midgets. There is the shirt that says, "I (heart) midgets". Then there is the one that says, "Midgets are pets too." "Midgets: they're like children with mustaches and a drinking problem." I could go on and on...