Bathroom Humor?

Several bathroom moments I feel I have to share.

Have you ever had to take a 2 and someone sees you before you can get behind the stall door into the concealed throne area? If someone sees me, I have to wait for that person to leave the bathroom. Somehow I feel like I would be embarassed for farting or having an assplosion. You never know how that person would react. They could hold a grudge against you and not long after your incident, you are know known around the office as Sir Fartsalot or Captain Diahrrea. So, to avoid this awkwardness, I wait patiently, though sometimes it can be rather painstaking.

In contrast to this situation, if someone enters the bathroom after I have already shrouded myself with the safety of the stall door, I tend to try to make as much noise as possible, occasionally adding grunts of pain and relief for added effect. Does this make me a sick person? Possibly, but it doesn't bother me if you guys know I'm a twisted individual. You probably do the same thing.

I'm sure you've noticed that the urinals here at work do not have the barrier separating them in order provide a little more privacy. For this reason, I cannot use the urinal if someone is using the other one. I get stage fright. Nothing happens until that person leaves. I have to use the regular toilets. And then I feel like I'm disrespecting the person who was using the urinal. I mean, he's probably thinking "What, is this guy too good to take a leak beside me? What did I ever do to him. You know what? To hell with him. I don't want to do business with a guy who can't even drain the lizard beside me." Maybe I'm putting too much thought into this but thats just the way it is. Maybe I'm scarred for life from the time the gay guy was checking out my Johnson at a rest area on the way back from White Water #1.

I can't believe I just wrote this crap down.