Trashed

Friday night ... I was TRASHED. Jesse said he saved drunk messages I left for him. I don't remember leaving him any. I went out for wings with my family for dinner and they dropped me at the bar. A few of my buddies and me had a couple beers and then the shots started ...

Apparently they all decided that I needed the shots and to get trashed. So they'd each buy me a shot and one for them. They each got away with 1 or 2 and I had 6 or 8. Cap'tmeister, jagerbombs, cherrybombs, 151, oh, I just remembered I had a crown on the rocks, and who knows what else.

I can't even describe on here what I was doing at the bar. But it was mostly yelling about things that were not acceptable I'm sure. But it all started with some girl there that I was trying to convince that all chicks like chicks.

So I get all wasted and it's time to go home and for some reason, even though my dad was supposed to come pick me up, I decided to walk home. I end up walking a few blocks (in the opposite direction of home) to a gas station to get one of those IBC apple pies and a water. Then proceed to stumble home.

I had to stop along the way and relieve myself in someone's yard.

Eventually I get to a corn field that I have to traverse to get home and stumble through it. I vaguely remember calling someone and leaving a message about stumbling through a field. On the other side there was some kinda street sign that I tried to rip out of the ground, but couldn't.

Then I walked the extra couple blocks home. I think it's about a 3 mile walk all together. My dad says I'm a dumb ass for walking home and tells me to get a shower to sober up. I end up sitting on the porch until I'm about to pass out and go to bed.

Isn't prohibition over?

I heard on the radio the other day about someone who went to the Jack Daniel's distillery. He said at the end of the tour, they give you Lynchburg lemonade...minus the booze. I guess the distillery is in a dry county. This reminded me of how stupid a dry county is. Isn't prohibition over? Come on people. Drink a beer! It's good for you!

Words of Advice

My parents came to town this weekend to help with the move. My dad and I were taking a load of stuff over to the new place and he said, "Boy, there sure are alot of young girls around here. There are probably all kinds of single women." Then on the drive back, he said, "If I was down here, I'd be getting on the Internet and calling girls. Boy, I'd have me some fun." So, I think what my dad was trying to say is, "Boy you need to get you some poontang." Both parents seem really desperate for me to find a woman. Mom wants grandkids. The funny thing is, if I had to call them and tell them I knocked some chick up, they would probably be happy.

Go Broncos

I was talking all this crap about how the Broncos would beat the Chargers Sunday night. I didn't think San Diego had a chance until I saw Jake "The Snake" Plummer in person on TV. Wow......he really does suck. It's incredible how bad he really is. Until The Snake is dethroned from the helm in Denver, they will never win a championship. I thought they had that game last night but I guess I was wrong. LT is the King. All hail to LT!

Is this better?

Super Mario Bros. Race

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1725543

Schembechler dies: Coincidence...I think not

Bo Schembechler, Michigan coach who is considered one of the best of all time, died today at the age of 77. The death comes one day before the biggest game of the biggest rivalry in this school's history. This may be enough to put Michigan over the top to beat OSU, so they can win one for the coach. This is exactly why I think this may be more than a coincidence. I think he may be still alive. I believe he's going to wait for Michigan to get the inspired win and then he's going to parachute onto the sideline and onto the shoulders of the victorious Wolverines. Then OSU fans will burn stuff...as usual.

Death real?

Movie Review - Borat

This movie was hilarious. I love when he's telling this guy about how his prostitute sister would tease his retarded, caged-up brother by flashing her vagin at him and saying, "You'll never get this, you'll never get this!" Then one day his brother got mad and broke out of the cage and he got it. I don't know how he keeps in character without cracking up at the shocked responses from his unsuspecting victims. I give it an A, and I would easily pay to see it again. "I love America. I'm very excite. I love you guys."

Movie Review - Stranger Than Fiction

I went and saw Stranger Than Fiction last weekend. It's new Will Ferrell movie. It was defintely an interesting movie that was fun to watch. It has a mixture of comedy and seriousness which is a role that Will Ferrell has never really played before. I think he does an excellent job with the role and the script is laid out very unique. Basically Will Ferrell starts hearing this narrative of his life and tries to figure out who it is and why he is hearing this voice. Dustin Hoffman also plays a brilliant character who is a Literary professor who tries to help Will Ferrell solve the mystery. I would give Stranger Than Fiction a B.

Thank You Jesus

I like after a boxing fight when they go up to the guy and do an interview. They always ask the winner, "So who do you want to thank for this victory?" The winner always goes threw the traditional list of mom, dad, brother, cousin, trainer....blah....blah.....blah and then at the end they say "and most of all I want to thank God." Ok.....if the winner is thanking God, is the loser going to hell? It would only make sense.

The loser of the fight can't thank God after getting knocked out.....Can he? "I just want to thank God for letting that guy destroy my face and helping him knock me out 3 times in the first round." That just wouldn't make any sense. So who can the loser really thank?

Basis and boxers

I'm trying to log into my training system and I type in the username with an underscore. The helper dude, who's an international, pointed at the screen and said 'dash not underware.' And the dash almost sounded like 'dick.'

I assume underware = underscore.

TJ answered his phone!

The Crazy Antics of the T & the J

Oh yes........it is true. I was not only welcomed by one drunk friend but by two. I have to say. It's much better to get two drunken calls. It makes the night that much more enjoyable and fun. I have to say that the T & the J cracked me up last night. You guys were hilarious.

Let's layout the night and calls in order:

1) TJ calls around 8:30 - 9pm EST
* TJ mentions that he will now be formally known as "Vinny the Vagina." The funny thing about this is that TJ made this up by himself. I had no part in the naming but don't worry...I'm definitely not going to forget this before the Vegas trip.

* I think the reason TJ gave himself the nickname is because he was drunk after about 5 beers. TJ defintely needs to work on the drinking tolerance........may I also mention the last New Year's Party that was at my place. BTW, we might have another New Year's party this year.

* TJ gets stopped by a bum while I'm on the phone with him. He tries to act like he's talking to his mother (aka me) with no avail. He gives the bum $6......are you kidding. I'm still pissed at you about that but I heard the bum had a good storyline.

* TJ ends up going up to his room instead of going out and drinking more beer and watching MNF........BOOOOOOOOOOO!


1) Jesse calls multiple times from around 10:30 - 11:30pm EST
* Jesse went beer bowling.

* Jesse proceeds to tell me that he will fuck everything under the sun in the ass. The best of these was that he told me to tell my brother that he would fuck him in the ass. Nice touch! Well, let me do Jesse some justice and tell the rest of the story. Jesse needed my brother to win his fantasy football matchup because Jesse is competing for a playoff spot with the guy that my brother was playing. My brother had Steve Smith going and needed about 6 more points. Steve Smith scored a TD and I told Jesse I needed to call my brother. Then Jesse proceeded to tell me the you know what. That seems justified.........righttttttt.

* I almost forgot. I think Jesse might have had sex with Rudi. All I heard where some cat screaches and Jesse telling Rudi to shut up.



I just have to say thanks guys for the calls............it made for a great night. You have to make Monday good some how.

Chi-town

I'm in Chicago for training. Got in last night on the train which was a bad idea. It was supposed to leave Kalamazoo around a quarter after 8 and take 2:45 to get here, which is faster than I can drive it with traffic and construction. It didn't leave until an hour late and then got another hour behind on the way some how. So it ended up I could've driven faster. Hopefully the return trip is better.

When I got here around midnight I had to grab a cab for the hotel. Holy shit - this guy drove through downtown Chicago at 50mph. I'm not kidding, I saw the speedometer. He was swerving around what other few cars there were. I can't remember ever being so scared in a car. I almost told him I'd pay double just to slow down so I didn't die.

Hotel is pretty nice, some how I got a suite. Not like the Venetia suite though. How'd everyone's fantasy team do? I'm up 30 and the dude I play has one of the defenses tonight. I forget which one.

By the way - I hate the Browns. I've been betting on games lately. I picked the Falcons to win, just like last week and they lost both time. I had to resort to betting since my fantasy team is so bad.

Buddy Found His Father

Buddy found his father and for Christmas he gave him his own brand new Enterprise SOA book. Buddy, "Wow Dad.........you must love me!" Buddy has forgiven his Dad now and will follow in his father's footsteps to become one of the greatest Basis Ninjas of all time and one day save the world.

THE END!

Are you kidding me?

CINCINNATI (AP) -Dick Pole, Dusty Baker's bench coach with the Chicago Cubs the last four seasons, was hired Tuesday as the Cincinnati Reds' pitching coach.

The 56-year-old was a pitching coach for the Cubs, the Giants, the Angels, the Indians and the Expos before becoming a bench coach. He replaces Vern Ruhle, who was sidelined much of last season because of cancer and has been reassigned within the organization.

Pole's hiring completes manager Jerry Narron's staff. The Reds hired Brook Jacoby as their hitting coach last week.

*******

Dick Pole? The Reds better have some good pitching next year, or Dick Pole is going to be the butt (pun intended) of a lot of jokes.

Question

Hey TJ....so what happened for you to write this email:

don't know about you boys, but I need a beer.


You better give us all the details. We have a couple of theories.

• Julia is pregnant.......ouch!
• I'm not even sure if you have a dog but this is Jesse's theory. Your dog got ran over and the person made a second pass to run him/her over a second time to make sure it was dead. I believe Jesse will be going to hell any time soon! (Don't worry....I wished anal cancer on him)
• You were abducted by aliens and given an anal probe.

It's 3:02am, do you know where your slick willy is?

At work! Yup, not just working, but at work. Our high availability system (HAS) up and died tonight. I'm on call - just crawling into bed about 11:15 and get a call at 11:20. I've been working on it since. I've had my basis lead on the phone. I've had IBM on the phone 3 times. I just drove into the data center to manually try to boot this piece up again. I really hope it works. I'm dog tired. I have to get cavities filled in the morning - I'm going to be one unhappy camper tomorrow, I can tell already.

I will have to say, I don't remember ever having to drive into the ACN office for a page. Which was nice. So enjoy it boys, the grass ain't always greener on the other side ... just most of the time.

Autistic Superheros Win with 4 players on BYE

Autistic Superheros won the game with 4 players on bye. They didn't only win but it was a blow out. The coach of the Autistic Superheros has found a new strategy for success. The other team is so confused that you are starting players that are actually not going to play that their players lose focus and play terrible. It's genius!

Here was the score from the game:

JJ's Posse
60.56
Autistic Superheros
87.90

Here was the starting lineup:

QB
J. Kitna
(Det - QB)
Bye
0.00
WR
C. Chambers
(Mia - WR)
Bye
0.00
WR
R. Wayne
(Ind - WR)
@Den
W, 34-31
33.80
RB
T. Barber
(NYG - RB)
TB
W, 17-3
8.80
RB
W. McGahee
(Buf - RB)
Bye
0.00
TE
C. Cooley
(Was - TE)
Bye
0.00
W/R
A. Green
(GB - RB) P
Ari
W, 31-14
25.30
K
J. Scobee
(Jac - K)
@Phi
W, 13-6
8.00
DEF
New York
(NYJ - DEF)
@Cle
L, 20-13
12.00

Freaky PS3 Commercial

Check out this freaky PS3 Commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJaGScKpZuU&mode=related&search


I'm not even sure if I just had a dream or if that commercial was actually real. I guess I hope it wasn't a dream.......because that is some freaky shit.

Big Baby

Did you see where Worthlessburger was crying about someone making fun of him during the Atlanta game? What a baby. You know that stuff happens all the time. You don't need to go public about that kind of crap. It seems like it's always something with him. "My thumb hurts." "I have a fever." "Someone called me a doodoo head."

He Just a Wittle Guy

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

I'm back biatches. Here are my vacation pics.

Cruise

Movie Review - The Ninth Gate

Here is the Plot Outline: The sleazy book dealer Corso (Depp) is hired by the obscure obsessive Balkan to find the only other two copies of his rare book in existence. The book is called 'The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows', and Balkan wants to authenticate his copy of this 17th century occult work, said to have been written by the devil.


This is actually a pretty good movie that I had never heard of. The movie came out in 1999. The plot is laid out well and Depp does his usual good job of being able to act out an interesting character. You definitely have to check it out when you get a chance. The ending was crappy and that's why I gave it a B instead of a B+.

More Pics

Check out some more pics here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ryan_otto_chambers/page2/

It includes the following pictures:

1) Halloween in Kent (My brother and I)
2) Halloween in Cincy (Stacy and I)
3) World Series - Game 2
4) Browns Game - Sunday Night (Which includes photos from when it took us about an hour to find the parking garage where we had parked)

That reminds me that I still need to get the ALCS games up. I have those at home so I'll have to do that later.

Halloween Pic

My brother took this picture. This is a pic of Snow White and Dominatrix Girl. There were actually a whole group of Dominatrix people (2 guys and 2 women).